"The Pink Cloud"
Goodness is uneventful. It does not flash, it glows.
The Pink Cloud is a term in recovery often shrouded in mystery. Usually, this term is used when someone feels great early in their recovery.
Many tend to warn newcomers of a crash that tends to occur after the Pink Cloud. While I don’t believe this is disingenuous, I do believe many recovering addicts are pushing their experiences off onto others - possibly subconsciously creating an expectation that their mood will “drop” post early recovery. Often, this is discussed as if the Pink Cloud is an accident, random, or something we have no control over. I suggest it’s all within our control. There is, however, immense benefit in warning newcomers. Sharing with others our struggles and hardships better prepares them for what they may go through. After all, as the great stoic philosopher Seneca said:
“The man who has anticipated the coming of troubles takes away their power when they arrive.”
When we know troubles are coming, when we know a craving will hit, we can visualize how we will deal with it so as to not relapse. John Assaraf is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, international speaker, author, and one of the leading behavioral and mindset experts in the world. He also appeared on a popular youtube show about personal development called “Impact Theory”. In John’s book Innercise, he discusses the importance of preparing for future problems mentally. John knew he would be in Las Vegas in the coming months and he had just recently lost a significant amount of weight. Fearing Vegas may be the beginning of him putting the weight back on, he printed out pictures of the buffet and hung them on the wall. He got different scents to mimic the aroma of the dessert buffet. Everyday for months prior to taking the trip, John would look at the pictures, smell the smells, imagine being near the buffet, and visualize making the conscious choice to walk away. John stayed focused and committed to doing the neural conditioning work day in and day out prior to his trip. His brain ended up being more prepared for once he was there, leaving him more prepared to walk away - effectively removing the power of the problem because he anticipated it.
Again, there are great benefits in knowing problems are coming. The issue with this becomes the fact that addicts and alcoholics already have an imaging going on in their mind. The visualization that John was practicing is happening unconsciously in the minds of addicts and alcoholics nearly 24/7. The only difference is John was visualizing walking away from temptation, and us addicts tend to visualize giving into temptation - many times without even knowing we are doing it. We have to recondition our mind and this takes time. Many addicts don’t seem to have this time, or at the least don’t act like they do. This has led me to preaching a different message about the pink cloud. This message isn’t a warning but an invitation:
You can recreate the feelings of the Pink Cloud anytime you want, if you’re willing to invest time.
The Pink Cloud “phase” of recovery is just sheer contrast. Hear me out: I had nothing going for me before going into treatment. I walked around daily as if I had no future. I had damaged every important relationship, to the point where I wasn’t comfortable being around them in fear I would have to answer for my manipulation and deception. I had no friends. On top of all of that, I had a severe dependence on heroin that was causing me to do things that would lead to more consequences. My belief in myself was gone. My belief of any future worth living was gone. I didnt think about building a life because that took energy away from thinking about how to get my next fix. I had nothing to look forward to. Gordon Livingston, the psychiatrist and author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart theorizes there are three components to a happy life:
Something to do
Someone to love
Something to look forward to
If you’re an addict anything like me, you can imagine, I fucked all those components up. Literally, the only thing I did was lie and manipulate in order to use heroin. Someone to love? Pshh. Something to look forward to? My future was misery.
However, after thirty days of treatment, something had changed. I was still sad, don’t get me wrong. I was still lonely. I still didn’t have anyone to love. I still had a life I needed to rebuild. But I was loving and caring for my peers in treatment. I did stop using heroin. I challenged myself by entering treatment. I succeeded and was no longer dependent on drugs. I could start rebuilding my life (something I couldn’t do dependent on heroin). That sounded like something to do. I could love the people around me. Since my self esteem was raising, I started imagining someone loving me again.
My entire belief and idea of myself and my future fundamentally changed by committing to something for thirty days.
Since then I have experienced many “pink cloud” periods. I’m experiencing one as we speak, challenging myself day in and day out to write these articles. Over time, my belief in me increases. Over time, my belief in what I can accomplish increases. That belief affects the way I feel day to day.
At four years sober I was two pounds from 300lbs. I entered treatment at 150. My pink cloud from early recovery was gone. I had become complacent, and certain behaviors with drugs translated easily to food. I fell asleep many nights wondering whether or not my wife was attracted to me. I beat myself up. I committed to the Keto diet and lost 60lbs in less than three months. I experienced another “pink cloud” period.
If the steps are worked properly, you will be challenging yourself left and right. Many times, people believe they are working the steps so that they don’t use or drink, which is fine. However, many can achieve periods of sobriety without challenging themselves beyond the initial “quitting”. Once they are sober, they receive praise and don’t continue in their pursuit of growth. Growth is hard and they are sober now so goal achieved. Wrong. This attitude leads to complacency. Complacency leads to lack of growth. Our miserable past gets farther behind us which leads to less contrast over time as we’re remaining the same which inevitably leads us to falling back into old programming.
Why you must challenge yourself:
Increases belief in yourself - How else would you increase belief in yourself? By remaining the same? Refusing to challenge yourself doesn’t simply mean you will remain the same. The world is moving away from you. You will get worse not remain the same, and life will come around with another storm that fills you with regret. It could be because you didn’t commit to improving your personal finances and ended up deeper in debt. It could be because you didn’t challenge yourself to a workout regiment, or healthy diet and now you you are paying the consequences. When we “force” ourselves to do something hard, something we aren’t used to doing and we complete it we start to believe in ourselves more and that translates to self esteem.
Increase in positive emotion - Research repeatedly shows a correlation between goal progress and well being. Progress in our goals leads to more positive emotion and general satisfaction with life. It’s possible to manipulate dopamine levels by setting small goals and achieving them[1]. If you have a big goal that will take time, deconstruct it into solvable sub goals that you can tackle by mastering one day at a time.
Your sphere of influence is watching - Those around you are watching you. As Carl Jung beautifully put it: “The child is educated by what the adult is, not by what they say.” Every single time you do something your kids, family, friends and anyone around you is watching. The more they see you strive to become better, the more their perception of you changes and the more likely you are to influence them positively.
The human brain favors routine - After being an addict for any serious period of time it’s easy to see how much our brain favors routine. The issue is, novelty is what forces the brain to grow. Novelty is newness and in this context, living on the edge of your capabilities. Over time, your brain will begin to think these challenges are routine. This leads to your challenge becoming a source of positive emotion and a habit. Once a habit, these challenges require less energy and are almost automatic leaving room to undertake more challenges.
Really, what is the alternative? - If you aren’t going to challenge yourself, really, what are you going to do? I can only be sure of one thing: inevitably, you will regret not challenging yourself as you will be forced to by some entity.
Life is challenging. It’s even more challenging when we remain the same. Challenging yourself takes time. It’s a slow burn. It’s not winning the lottery. It’s not finding a new, cheaper connect. It’s not spending money to feel okay.. New life comes from a new mind. Creating a new mind requires you to live on the edge of your capabilities. Doing so will lead you to steady growth. The Pink Cloud is not some mysterious, esoteric idea. The pink cloud is the perspective and feeling following a period of slow growth. The pink cloud is the end result of sustained effort towards progression in some area of life. This is why getting things never makes you happy. It excites you, yes. But in the end, you get used to it and your brain hasnt changed. Therefore, the way you experience life hasn’t changed either. This is hedonic adaptation.
Tony Robbins has a great quote that sums it up beautifully: You don’t get out of life what you want, you get out of life who you become. Whether you like Tony Robbins or not, this quote rings true for anyone who is successful or happy.
You could think of the ultimate Pink Cloud as Enlightenment. These prophets and teachers experienced a great deal of pain and suffering and responded appropriately leaving us lessons. Some of them, such as Christ, Viktor Frankl, and many others achieve some level of enlightenment through suffering and addressing that suffering appropriately.
Others, such as monks, extreme athletes, and the devoted religious impose order and growth by committing to a daily practice that pays dividends overtime as they adapt. I’m sure you’ve had less than ideal experiences in your life which now you are grateful for. You can cultivate the feelings of the Pink Cloud by continuing to put effort into growth. Feeling good and being happy are not an accident.
You are, to some degree, a product of your experiences. To a large degree, you have control over what you experience. Stop letting the randomness of life dictate your growth.
