Focus
Focus, awareness, and most importantly self awareness, are the most important and most overlooked tools in recovery. In my experience, there solid practices for increasing awareness such as step four, and step ten. Self Examination allows us to view ourselves and our situations objectively to see where we were wrong so as to be less wrong in the future. Through this process, you gain humility and an understanding of yourself and the fact that you know very little. Honestly, for me, it has been one of the most freeing paradigm shifts in my life. I went from believing I knew a lot, to slowly understanding through trial and error that I know very little. Clearly, this has affected my decision making and behavior positively.
However, I have noticed that recovery in general lacks lessons on the importance of focus and how to increase it. Of course, we do have step eleven:
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we Understood him.
While this is my favorite, and most important step - it’s importance is far too overlooked. First, it comes later in the steps. We spend the first nine steps fixing ourselves, and our relationships, cleaning up the wreckage of our past. Our life tends to get better in doing this, and we get farther away from the problems we created while drinking and using. The importance of maintaining a regular routine of increasing awareness, however, then tends to lose it’s priority to the distractions of life. Of course, you could meet a great sponsor who suggests routines and practices that help increase awareness. However, the majority of the time, step eleven is suggested to us as prayer and meditation without showing us how to pray, how to meditate, or why they even work in the first place. Clearly, much of this is due to the fact that the twelve-steps were created prior to any research on meditation. Also, lets not forget, meditation is difficult. Well, actually, let me rephrase that: committing to a regular program of meditation, breath work, or anything that could increase focus is easy. The problem is, it’s easier to do nothing. One of the main issues that alcoholics and addicts have is their inability to focus. It would then make sense to me that we should not only prescribe ways to increase focus and awareness earlier - but also provide information on why it’s so important. So, why is it important then? If we don’t drink or use hasn’t the goal been achieved? Why do I have to meditate and pray? Well, I can lay it out this way: if you aren’t improving your conscious contact with something - then your unconscious contact is sure to improve. Meaning, if you aren’t trying to focus - you will lose focus. This is especially dangerous for addicts and alcoholics today. More than ever before, our world is fraught with distraction. People have a device in their pocket connecting them to everyone and everything - they reach for it unconsciously. And while you think you aren’t one of those people on your phone much, you probably are.
Cal Newport, author of Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World, asserts that technologies today are fragmenting our ability to pay attention. Our brains adapt to the short clips, memes, posts, likes, and comments. Therefore, making it more difficult to sit and pay attention for anything longer than the average Instagram post. I have clients who tell me all the time, “Every time I read a paragraph I have to re-read it again”. No shit, right? Read more - you’ll adapt to it and eventually wont have to continue to read pages over and over. Welcome to the world of building focus. Just a heads up, in meditation you’re going to have to refocus on your breath thousands of time too. While it’s normal in treatment centers to discuss the dangers of social media - it’s not for the right reasons. Of course, we want to stay away from old associates but just as important is our ability to gain the focus of an actual adult. Newport shows reasons why technology is destroying our ability to focus:
By design, these phones and apps are addictive attention takers.
Strong correlation between social media use and anxiety
By having all “in between time” (waiting in line, red lights, sitting in a waiting room, bathroom breaks) burying faces in our phones we lose the ability to be alone with our thoughts and think deeply at all.
Filling our mental space with social media and apps limits mental space required for creativity, and again, deep thinking.
If you lack deep thinking, you limit your personal growth. (often deep thinking and genuine conversations with ourselves is what leads to growth and positive change).
Even though I wanted to avoid getting in the conversation about dopamine, it’s impossible not to when talking about addiction. Adam Alter, author of "Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked, explains what happens to your brain when someone likes your post on Instagram or any other social media platform:
The minute you take a drug, drink alcohol, smoke a cigarette if those are your poison, when you get a like on social media, all of those experiences produce dopamine, which is a chemical that’s associated with pleasure.
Although far too many still think this way today, originally, we thought of dopamine as critical component of feeling pleasure. The more science that comes out, the more we see dopamine is more critical in causing motivation to pursue pleasure. It increases arousal, excitement, and energy. This is important to understand, when we compare getting a “like” to using cocaine its not that the “like” necessarily makes us feel as good as cocaine. The “like” is producing dopamine that will motivate us to pursue that goal again. What I’m saying is, we are getting sober and going into a world that doesn’t want us to focus, a world that is perpetuating addictive behavior in another form. You could see then, that alcoholics in the earlier days of AA were contending with their feelings more often because they had less distraction.
You might have felt this dopamine rush the last time you were about to get high, and for some reason had to take a massive shit. We’ve also seen this in rats who were trained to self administer cocaine. These rats experienced elevation in dopamine when they began to anticipate receiving the drug. According to Dr. Regina Carelli and her colleagues who performed the study: “ the key observation was a pair of dopamine spikes before the animals pressed the lever. The first occurred 8 seconds before the lever press; the second began 3 seconds later and peaked roughly 2 seconds after the lever press and drug delivery.” Keep in mind, these rats weren’t feeling the effects of the cocaine within 2-seconds of it’s delivery. Their dopamine was actually higher before they felt the affects of the drug. “Anticipating receiving cocaine appears to cause significant increases in dopamine levels, suggesting that dopamine plays a much more complex role in addiction than simply triggering a drug's pharmacological reward," said Dr. Carelli. "Dopamine seems to alert the brain to the availability of cocaine and precipitate drug-seeking behavior. In the rats, this early spike in dopamine appears to cause them to seek the lever. In humans, the same thing may happen as part of the powerful urge to obtain drugs," she stated.[1]
This is what some call the “biology of desire”. I found it made a lot of sense to me. It made sense even at work waiting to come home. I would get so excited to be done with my day and head home only to find I wasn’t that excited to be home either. I found it to be true being addicted to heroin as well. I would wake up, pursue heroin excited to feel better, only to plan how it was going to be my last time using once I was actually high. If it was so good, why did I want to quit every time I was high?
I have deep issues when it comes to addicts and alcoholics in recovery who are too attached to their idea of addiction being a disease. This isn’t to say that I don’t believe it’s a disease, I just want all the information and their are many neuroscientists out there who don’t believe it’s a disease. Marc Lewis, developmental neuroscientist wrote the book The Biology of Desire Why Addiction is not a Disease. In this book, Marc argues addiction is the result of deep learning most likely triggered by stress or alienation. Of course, there is agreement in the scientific field that addiction changes the brain. Addiction changes the circuitry of our brain. The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) argues these changes are evidence of a brain disease. The problem is, these changes are also induced in any goal oriented activity that becomes all consuming: gambling, gaming, falling in love, even learning a new language or instrument. There is even research showing people making big decisions in business have high levels of dopamine metabolized in their brain - probably because they are in a high state of goal pursuit most of the time. Sound familiar? We were in a high state of goal pursuit for the years we were drinking and using. Alcoholism was declared a disease in 1956, obesity in 2013, many people however have used the brain they’re left with after years of pursuing a goal to do good things that aren’t considered diseases, like make money or get really good at an instrument. (Hey Dad!) I’ve told my dad for years he’s an addict who didn’t have the environment to become one. Instead, he’s obsessed with making money and was once one of the best trumpet players in all of Oklahoma.
Lewis goes on to say: "The longer a time that you spend in your addictive state, the more the cues attached to your drug or drink of choice is going to turn on the dopamine system," While the dopamine is being ramped up, there is a decreased activity in areas of the brain responsible for judgment and decision-making. The result of constantly stimulating this reward system? The user can only think about right now. This helps explain why addicts will use even when they know consequences will come. This is what Marc calls “now-appeal”. Shit man, right on the money for me.
Marc, basically, argues that addiction is the brain doing what it is supposed to do. As I read this book, which I suggest to all of you - too much of it made sense, I couldn’t simply dismiss it. Now, whether you think you have a disease or not think of the implications of this: Anytime you think of drugs or alcohol, your brain may be flooded with dopamine to motivate you to go get it.
Soo.. be careful what you think about? Well, yeah.. kinda. .
Isn’t focus the ability to choose what to think about?
Mindfulness in Addiction
In recent years, mindfulness has been gaining traction in the recovery community. This is due to many reasons. First off, mindfulness has been gaining traction in general. Meditation apps are everywhere with Headspace and Calm having millions of regular users. Second, we now know that our brain is shaped by experience and practice. While actively using, we shaped our brains without knowing it and we were left with a brain that worked against us in recovery. You would be amazed how many addicts don’t understand that the way they think and behave shapes their brain - which also shapes their experience to a large degree.
I have had a meditation practice for about three years now. I started with 10 minutes per day, using Headspace. Today, I meditate twenty minutes per day beginning with breath focus ending with visualization. I’ve found, the more I visualize the life I want to live, the more I live I act in a way that will get me there. It’s basically the exact opposite of what I used to do: think about my problems and shame - then imagine what others problems might happen. This led to anxiety, crippling fear, low self esteem and the only thing I knew to do was turn it off (use) which perpetuated the problem. Keep in mind, sitting still is difficult. You are contending with yourself every single second. Also remember though, that’s exactly the opposite of what you used to do, run from the way you felt.
I believe, the reason we get so anxious and out of shape emotionally is because we don’t allow these emotions and feelings to process. They reach a certain point that’s when we turn them off. The almighty, “fuck it” moment. Allowing yourself to feel, staying aware, gives your mind the opportunity to “build a support system” to deal with it. This is almost never fun. Change your mindset about pain and discomfort. Clearly, the old way you looked at it wasn’t working.
Schedule, Schedule, Schedule! Look at your day. You can schedule a ten minute meditation. If you don’t, understand you are acting as if exercising your mind ten minutes a day is not worth it. You know you don’t do shit, I know you don’'t do shit. You can meditate for ten minutes. This requires action.
Focus and awareness could begin to be cultivated just by asking yourself questions when you’re struggling:
Am I focused on something I can’t control?
Is my brain simply telling me to go use because in ______________ situations I always used?
Do I have trouble focusing because I don’t practice much?
Am I focused on what I don’t want or what I do want?
Is there a small step I can take to begin solving this problem? Or is it better to just continue to think and be full of anxiety?
Am I just “going through the motions” or am I choosing daily to act differently?
Most humans live 70% of their life(if not more for addicts) in what scientists call the DMN(default-mode-network) an area of the brain known to have activity highly correlated with each other and distinct from other areas. It’s active when the individual is thinking about others, themselves, remembering the past, planning for future. I like to think of the DMN as basically who you are if you don’t try to change.
So when you are sitting down to meditate, and you don’t want to, you are remaining the same. Meditating may “exercise” other areas of the brain that normally wouldn’t have activity. This shows why experienced meditators tend to have “healthier and younger brains”. [2]
This thing upstairs is the fucking filter through which we experience life. Why in the world aren’t we training it? Because it’s hard? Most addicts and alcoholics I’ve met just assume they are stuck with theirs. They may be more stuck than me, having done drugs and drank longer, but the principle is still the same.
There is a difference between hard and impossible
The reason early AA suggested prayer and meditation is because they are both acts of focus. With prayer you are asking for help(humility) giving thanks (gratitude) and whether you believe in the divine or not, talking to yourself with humility and gratitude will increase positive emotions. To meditate is to think deeply or focus one’s mind. You will be distracted by day dreaming, itches, temperature, discomfort, the past, the future, and everything else. Refocus on your breath.
The following are scientifically proven ways to increase focus. Add them to your schedule, or daily to-do list as you can complete all of these tasks within an hour (I know you waste more than an hour per day):
Meditation -Not only are you refocusing hundreds of times within minutes, studies have shown meditation alters brain matter and reduces stress leading to better decision making and mental health.
Make lists, write things down, journal. -This is an act of paying attention to what you want and what you experience. Write down goals, journal your experiences, pay attention!
Exercise - British Medical Journal, along with thousands of other publications have published findings on exercises benefits in improving focus and cognition. This particular study found short 10-40 minutes of exercise boosts mental concentration and focus. (No shit - you go from taking drugs that limit your brains ability to receive blood to daily activity that gives your brain blood) Remind me why you aren’t exercising again?
Reading - Reading is going to battle with your mind. You have to read, re read, and sometimes re re read. Tough! I’ve found myself that the more I read the better I get at reading. Reading literally rewires parts of your brain as Maryanne Wolfe explains in her book: Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain.
Clean, Declutter - I have become a cleaning machine since getting clean. I just want to live in a house I’m proud of. It has shown some insane benefit in my life. That’s why I wasn’t surprised to see Princeton University Neuroscience Institute found having too much clutter decreases the brain’s capacity for focus and processing information. (This could be why minimalism has been such a trend the last few years)
These are just some of the tasks you can start taking on to improve your cognition and focus. There is an insane lack of these sorts of discussions in treatment centers. I know all of us would snap our fingers and act like the above if we had that option. We don’t. The only option we have is to put forth effort or continue to have the world grow away from us. If you don’t start acting in accordance with a life that will increase your brain function, you will look back and wish you did.
While mindfulness has it’s virtue, it certainly can be incredibly boring. I suggest you start with five to ten minute daily meditations sessions. Being mindful doesn’t bring “the peace” that you may think it does. Mindfulness does not inhibit the daily human need to anticipate the future. You will have times where moments of your meditation seems entirely present. For the most part, however, your meditation will be filled with thoughts of the future. That’s okay! You can remain mindful without being in a state of meditation. Kent Berridge, neuroscientist from University Of Michigan and leading theorist on emotion and incentive motivation has done work on this. Through his research, we’ve learned that remaining mindful while pursuing singular and meaningful ends enhances positive affect. All you have to do is something like this: pursue your normal “mindfulness” protocols such as:
Paying attention to your breath
Asking yourself questions on your intention. (why am I doing this)
Recognizing thoughts as thoughts (not identifying with them, understanding they will pass)
Just being still
Practice compassion towards yourself and others
While doing these practices, pursue or anticipate pursuing meaningful behavior such as:
Exercise
Cleaning
Writing
Reading
Anything that is positive and contributes honestly to current trajectory.
Before I even knew of any of this research, I was doing this. I have my routine of exercising, stretching, reading, writing, and cleaning for a few years now. My basic rule in my routines is I can’t relax or be done with my day until I finish it. Little did I know, mindfulness can induce a relaxed state due to opioid activity in the brain. On the other hand, since I’m pursuing activity that is meaningful to me, I experience dopaminergic activity as well. As a result, I’m more pleasurable, alert, engaged, and have incentive to continue in the practice.
What you focus on you feel.
Focus is simply the ability to choose where attention goes. It’s exercising choice repeatedly until you’re good at it. Prayer is choosing to think, and speak consciously. Meditation is choosing to pay attention consciously. Reading is choosing to redirect attention to a specific topic. Your brain adapts to what you put it through. You need to cultivate the ability to stay focused so when you aren’t in a great place, you can shift your focus appropriately.
Remove your distractions, watch this video and set up a good routine for increasing your focus and concentration.
